Monday, 15 April 2013


The nerves started the moment I woke up this morning. It didn't help that it was 5am either but I'd had another night of odd dreams and when I dream I feel as if I haven't slept at all and always wake up early ....... and then feel crap! I dozed for a bit but everytime I came too the nerves were there.

Just as well that Tilly was play barking and wanting to be let out of the barn

Over tea in bed OH and I discussed what we were both planning to do today .......

Then suddenly the realisation that after Friday I have no idea what I will be able to do or even know how I will feel is  becoming very real.

Shit I need to clean the cheeses for Totnes Good Food on Sunday, normally a job for Saturday

Oh god the house badly needs cleaning, always low on my list of prorities but now worrying me as it seems Miss Havisham has been in residence for years

Then there's the veg plots ... bugger ... the veg plots, left to nature last year due to the weather and now completely covered in weeds.

What about the seedlings that are still in the seed trays desperately needing to be pricked out ...

shit shit shit

No time to get nervous then??

Wrong ...... the nerves came back at breakfast.

Thank goodness for BBC Radio Devon then .....

When the phone rang just before 10am the last person I expected to be speaking  to was a journalist from local radio, but I was and I was asked to talk to a presenter about being positive whist suffering from an illness.

Blimey thats one way to get rid of nerves!

I had to pop out for an hour and then did the chat when I got back ........that was the morning gone.

Getting on with other stuff and listening to Radio Devon proved to be great therapy this afternoon along with  pricking out the seedlings and then ..........

over the last 6 hours I've had loads of messages of support via text, e-mail, twitter and FB so definately there's been no time to entertain nerves!!



  1. Oh Sarah... I was watching the reports from Boston as I just got home from Hampshire. Of course that news affected me, but when I clicked on the link in your tweet, leading me to this post, I was thinking ... please no, don't let it be. And the goosebumbs on my back sadly tell me that it is. This affects me ten times more.
    Have strength Sarah, I don't know if you like me to rell you I'm sorry, of course I am. But I rather say, smile and fight. Sending lots of positive vibes to you, along with a big hug. Please keep well x Regula

    1. Thank you Regula ... it means so much knowing that lovely people like you are sending me positive vibes and also that you understand my way of fighting this, is by staying positive and smiling.
      Sarah xx