Saturday, 21 March 2015

I never considered that OH still worries

We were ten minutes into the journey on the way to my appointment with Mr. Ferguson on the 12th February when OH said 'I get really nervous on these trips'

(I wanted to be flippant and suggest that I drive if his driving was the problem but knew he was being serious)


'Well I expect bad news'

Now I know when I got the 'sorry but the biopsy shows its cancer ' OH thought I was going to die and initially so did I. However with all the great treatment I received I realised that I had a few more years yet! Also my view is if I can't feel it then I'm sure Mr F and Dr. Goodman can't either.
 Although I have to admit to nerves last year with my mammogram and of course I'm waiting for this year's one so am a little apprehensive.
OH still isn't convinced.

This was a shock as although we talk about everything and anything he hadn't let on and I hadn't picked up on his fears.
Two years down the line too ...... How crap am I?

After we'd seen Mr. Ferguson I asked OH whether he watched what went on and how it felt sitting in a room with another man examining me as it had only occurred to me that over the last two years he had had to sit quietly whilst I was prodded and poked and chatted to by the Consultant/Doctor who was always male.

He doesn't watch but listens carefully, takes it all in and waits for the bad news ........... so he is relieved when the Consultant/Doctor declares everything feels fine.......

Tuesday, 17 March 2015

Dr. Goodman, Tamoxifen and periods

I know, I know ....... it's a couple of weeks since my Oncology appointment on 3rd March but I'm here now!!!

Sooooooooo as you know we were away for my Birthday and were then popping by RD&E for my appointment with Dr. Goodman.

We mistimed our arrival (almost sounds grand) and ended up hanging around reading our kindles for  a couple of hours!!! Not a problem when you get a parking space and are reading an Amanda Prowse book.

I have to say that the receptionists I have met recently  seem to be getting brusquer and the one in Oncolgy was no exception ...... I suppose at least she got my name on first announcement but to then bark at me 'date of birth?'  'Doctor?' And if that wasn't enough she wanted the last part of my phone number ...... well what do you class as last part?? I reeled the whole lot off!! She also took a piece of paper out of a folder and slid it across the desk towards me with no explanation...........   So apparently there is a study  involving weighing patients and asking details of nutrition and they'd appreciate my cooperation!!! Well of course, why didn't you say ......... I've lost over two stone and eat eight to nine portions of fruit and veg a day etc etc ....... Oh ok that's to come!! I suppose she did ask if I knew where to go and although I was tempted to be arse holey, I decided to be nice.

The moment we got to the waiting room, it was a relief to see that there weren't too many people there. Scanning the board and seeing that Dr.Goodman was in the house was another relief and also there was nothing saying that the clinic was running late!! Huzzah!!!!

So back to a Mothers Story by Amanda Prowse and twenty five minutes later I'm called in. Lovely nurse called Tree (yes really) asked if she could weigh me ...... 'yes of course but it has been my Birthday weekend and I've been eating and  drinking and making merry!'

'Of course you should' ........

Thank god it was her and not the miserable Tina (Teena) from the past!! 'What are you normally?' 'Around 62.2 with no clothes on. Anyway with all this eating and drinking and with my clothes on she made me 64.85 kg ...... and then calculated it to 10 stone 1lb ....... noooooooooo

I was a bit disappointed that my eating habits weren't discussed though.

After putting on the usual fetching gown and waiting a while the man himself complete with dyed hair and bow tie came in.

Now like Mr. Ferguson he started talking about changing me at two and a half years from Tamoxifen to another drug if I started to go through the menopause naturally. However he ummed and arrhed and mentioned side effects like joint pain and  took a long time to get to the point about whether this would happen. I sat there willing him to decided that Tamoxifen was good for me!!!(Well you know how I put off taking it initially and now how we're just jogging along nicely ) - I'll tell you about the night sweats and insomnia in another post!!!

When he mentioned Letrozole as being the drug in question I wanted to shout 'No' as  after hearing and seeing the side effects my friend has had with it I'd really prefer to stay on Tamoxifen. Well better the devil you know!!

I then mentioned that I was still having periods and had in fact come on the day before my appointment with Mr. Ferguson so despite being 52 and a day I still hadn't started the menopause ......... this is  the only time everrrrrrr that I'm grateful that I'm still doing the period thing!!

Anyway back to Dr. Goodman  ....... he was speechless for a moment as he hadn't known that I'd seen Mr.Ferguson a few weeks before (flicked opened my file and saw the letter) hesitated and was on the verge of saying he wouldn't examine  me because of this  but then thought better of it ....... well I'd gone to the trouble of putting the gown on hadn't I!!!

He thinks everything feels fine too and is also  impressed at how well my boob has healed! (May be there's hope yet and  I can go back to the glamour modelling!!!!!)

Now due to the crossing over of appointments and the fact that Mr. Ferguson wants to see me in twelve months  Dr. Goodman has decided to see me in six months ...... 1st September at 3.20pm. To be precise!

What's the betting then that I'm still having periods??

Thursday, 5 March 2015

So two years on ........

Two years ago today it all started .... 4th March 2013

Yup it was a two years ago to the day when I had my mammogram which then turned my life tits up! (Literally)

So fast forward two years ........

............... to this weekend which was my Birthday ..... oh yes 52 years old.

Happy to be alive, happy in my own body and happy to have my photo taken.

A different story two years ago though ............

Two years ago I didn't have a fancy phone or camera so no record of the  two and a half stone overweight blob of a woman and even if I did I wouldn't be posting the photo's, I hated that woman.

This was the biggest hint at a wake up call and although (as you know) I was so fucking pissed off with the bastard cancer I have to admit now that it did do me a favour ........ but don't tell it!

Not just in the health stakes but also in the friendship stakes and the work stakes.

So in the health stakes ......  yes I'm still trying to do the eight to nine portions of fruit and veg a day but at times like at markets and Birthday weekends away it is difficult when there is lovely food on offer but none of it adding up to even one portion of fruit or veg a day
I do want to shout when I see a menu (most of the time) with no veg or a supplement of about four quid for it ....... but I do also appreciate that this is down to the great British public who abhor veg and leave it, meaning it gets chucked into the bin! (Great for soup though!)

Of course the running is top of the health stakes ........ who'd have thought it Sarah Styles-Power, Mrs. Cheese running and now signed up for the Bideford 10K and asking for sponsorship for  if you can spare a quid or dime or two thank you then
That aside ..........

So in the friendship stakes ...........well, I've never been the most popular girl on the block but it's amazing ...... I've found out who my true friends are, lost some  and made a lot of new ones .... Thank you, you guys rock !

Bum! Nearly forgot the work stakes ....... well yes money pays the bills and all that malarkey but actually we've (Mr.Cheese and I have) learnt that you need time away ....... Something unheard of on my agenda before so that's why I 'm looking so happy in the photo ....... we had a couple of days away and nothing else mattered!

Also as I've said before this blog writes itself and tonight I was going to tell you about my appointment with Dr. Goodman but it went off else where .........