They don't tell you about this.....

When I first met the dapper Dr. Goodman he said that about a week after radio therapy I would probably start to feel tired and would have to stop doing things and rest ....... yeah yeah yeah...

Well he was right ....... of course!!!

I can't believe how the fatigue sets in but I've just had to accept it and rest ..... some days are better than others BUT.....

I feel crap..............

Nearly everyday I feel crap.................

Each night I go to bed feeling tired and usually within an hour I fall asleep  .... I've never been one for dropping off straight away!

If I'm lucky I'll sleep until around 2am when OH then gets up for a pee, walks into things, sighs and talks to himself in the bog.

I then realise I'm dripping with sweat despite wearing nothing and being covered with just a sheet.

So now I'm awake .......

.......come on turn over and go back to sleep ....

.... I can't

Think I need to drink my glass of water....

.... oh now I need a pee...

Back into bed and then I feel cold so on goes the duvet ....

Oh come on go back to sleep..

Nope....

Now I'm sweating again .....so off comes the duvet and on goes the sheet...

More water...

This goes on for around two hours and then bliss I go back to sleep ...... fab if its a normal day as I usually manage to sleep until six when the boiler starts up, absolute bollocks if I'm milk recording and having to get up around 4.30 and 5 am.

They don't tell you about this!

Ok, the list of side affects for tamoxifen mentions night sweats but not insomnia ....... I  only discovered that from talking to others who've been on this journey.

They don't tell you about this.

Did I mention the stiff knees??? 

First thing in the morning and if I sit for any length of time I walk like an old lady.

They don't tell you about this.

Its bloody awful and I'm knackered.

Yesterday the teary feelings came back and I feel really pissed off, just like the feelings I blogged about on 13th June.

Sooooooo this week I've got my third prescription for tamoxifen ...... I can't believe that I have to order it every month despite the fact that I've got to take it for at least the next five years (bloody government rules I expect!) oh yes and talking about bloody government rules, when OH went to collect my prescription from the surgery he was told that in future if I wanted him to collect my prescriptions I have to send a note authorising it ....... for gods sake Mr. Cameron WHY???? you know I'm allergic to Dr's Surgeries! (oh, by the way he's not just passed the law for me and OH, it applies to everyone!)

Now back to the tamoxifen ....... for two months I've been on a brand called Relon, but this month its Teva........

So what???????

Well after the initial teary and pissed off stage on Relon  I've felt fine but since taking Teva its all come back....

WHY???

They don't tell you about this .....

But...

... different brands of tamoxifen have different side affects .....

Yesterday I looked on various breast cancer forums about side affects from tamoxifen brands ........

.... as usual scared myself shitless........