If you're squeamish look away now!!

On Thursday night my underarm around where the lymph node removal scar is was really sore ........ infact it was down right painful .....to touch as well as lift my arm.!! Now I was blogging at the time but decided to take a look when I'd finished my last post........ whilst I ran the bath I tried to have a look ........... now bearing in mind that I'd taken my contact lenses out and am blind as a bat I really couldn't see much but the scar looked very red and a small area felt hard and sore........

Shit, shit, shit, surely so long after my op this couldn't be a side affect. Surely not? Could it be something to do with the radio therapy??

Oh bum is it the start of lymphoedema ...... not really taken much notice of that chapter in my folder, can't remember if it can occur at any time after having lymph nodes removed.

Oh well .... no point in worrying now.... will see how it is in the morning, if I stick my head in the sand it will hopefully go away!

............... So I had my bath and went to bed ........ OH was already asleep so I couldn't mention it to him.......... probably just as well as the sweats started ............ so duvet off, sheet on .......sleep for an hour ......... need a pee .........drink a pint of water..... back under duvet as cooled down ....... sleep for a couple of hours ....... wake up in a sweat so duvet off, sheet on........ drink a pint of water ....more sleep. Bollocks just heard the boiler start up ...... it must be 05.55 oh gawd its stopped...... shit don't tell me we've run out of oil or it needs servicing ......... oh its back on again ....phew. aaarrr the clock is flashing, that was a power cut.......

Bloody hell no wonder I'm knackered .....

Anyway might as well get up for another pee .......
As I sat on the loo I decided to have a look under my arm as it was still sore, because I'm so myopic I twisted the sore bit towards me and SPLAT ..... a load of pus shot out from above the lymph scar ....... woo hoo its a boil!!!!!

Ok so I can hear the disgust from you all from here but I've always loved squeezing spots and I haven't had the pleasure in years of something going splat!!!

I had a dilemma .... should I leave it as I knew full well that being so close to my op site I shouldn't be interfering with it but then again I really didn't want the hassle of going to the surgery or having to take more pills so I had another crafty squeeze and hoped for the best!!

Right decision ........... its cleared up!!

How much??

My credit card bill has arrived ....................................

How much?????

No I haven't been on a spending spree .....

......well only at petrol stations!!

Have a guess at how much 20 return trips to RD&E for my radio therapy cost in fuel?

Nope

No nowhere near

I'll put you out of your misery.......

£303.30 to be precise

Fucking hell that is a lot of money!!

On top of that OH had a £230 garage repair bill for his truck which still makes the creaky noise so its probably not fixed anyway. Infact it sounded decidedly dodgy today!!

However I'm still alive and the prognosis is pretty good ..... well I should be around for at least  another 20 years or so subject to being knocked down by a bus (pretty remote possibility in these parts!)

I had another shock ........

I decided I couldn't put it off any longer..... I knew I'd put on weight since my operation, the lack of exercise and the tight clothes were a clear indication, as was all the eating and drinking with friends who we hadn't seen in ages ( well everyone really!)

I stood on the scales ...........

How much????

Oh I'm sure they need resetting.

I got off and reset them.

I stood on the scales again.....

Fucking hell I've put on a stone since my operation

Well I won't lie the diet doesn't start tomorrow and nor does the exercise ........ at the moment I can't tolerate the heat so until it cools down a bit I shan't be walking or cycling and we're socialising again this weekend so perhaps Monday will be a good day to start ??????

I needed a hot water bottle!

Plans, plans, plans ....... what's the use of plans????

Not a lot where the bastard cancer is concerned!

On Friday we were up fairly early as like Thursday morning the bloody magpies and crows were making a racket. After delivering eggs across the valley we headed off to Holsworthy ........... after about five minutes into the journey I started to feel sick (and no this time it wasn't anything to do with OH's driving!!) and felt so hot that I thought I might explode. Also my legs ached from thigh to toe .... really, really ached. After a few more minutes I mentioned it to OH who offered to turn round but as we were nearly there it seemed silly to.

I have never gone round Waitrose so fast in all my life ...... got to the checkout, grabbed the car keys and left OH to pay!!

I sat in the car ready to explode and or throw up. Luckly there was a carrier bag on the floor which had had the eggs in for such a purpose!! (the throwing up that is .... exploding isn't that easily contained I'm led to believe) and OH had bought a small bottle of water with him which still had a bit in that I drained.

It seemed like ages although I don't think it was when OH appeared.......... all the way home he kept saying 'nearly there' which was lovely of him but unfortunately I knew where we were and six miles, four miles, two miles etc is along way when you want to explode or be sick!!

Hooray we got home....... luckly without having to reverse for anyone in the lane and I rushed upstairs and threw myself on the bed.

Now! bearing in mind that it was around 30C and during the siestas I've been having during radio therapy I just lay on the bed with my clothes on and on these hot summer nights I sleep with just a sheet on me I lay on top of the covers in my trousers and t -shirt and realised that I was cold.
I got under the duvet and assumed I'd warm up.

Wrong.......

OH came up with a cold bottle of water ....... too cold for me to drink......

After about half an hour OH came to check on me and asked if I wanted a hot water bottle .....

What???? .......... Don't be ridiculous ............ its 30C ....... but I need tap water .... lots of it ......

When he popped in again I ordered the hot water bottle!!

Now, I thought that within minutes of hugging it I'd be warmed up and feel fine............

Wrong....

My legs ached so much and I just couldn't get my feet warm....

........ and I drank gallons of water..

So .......to cut a long story short I eventually warmed up and by 1.30pm felt well enough to get up for a bit of lunch!!

During the afternoon I did some cooking as we had friends coming on Saturday for Pimms o'clock and lunch but after a while the leg ache came back and I had to go back to bed......

Despite not sleeping well I felt so much better on Saturday morning that I cooked like mad to catch up........

I love five hour lunches in the garden, don't you??? ....

......We had a fab time and I didn't need a siesta!!

Oh P.S. I'm still hanging loose!!!!

Radio therapy has finished!

Ha ha ..... so there was me saying in my last post that hopefully the sore split skin would improve after my last radio therapy zapping....

Wrong!

Its here for the duration................. apparently

Yesterday was my last radio therapy session and what a strange feeling that was.......

Its amazing how quickly we got into a routine with the daily trips, playing spot the lorry and courier game and betting where we'd pass the No. 51 bus on its route to Hatherleigh (you may laugh but actually it kept us sane!) Then there was the Sainsbury lady walking to work ... would she or wouldn't she have a fag on? Could we jinx the bloke who forced his way in in the merge lane when it wasn't his turn to then put the wrong fuel in his car when he turned into the petrol station!! Mean I know but it kept us sane!

I didn't have to wait long for my last session and before I knew it I was waving goodbye to the lovely A team leaving them some homemade treats for their tea break!

And we went for our last free coffee at Waitrose ........


Before I left the treatment room the radio therapist advised that the redness and soreness would get worse over the next 10 days as the treatment continues to work in my body!

Oh great!

I'm still having to go bra less as the skin hasn't healed under my boob.  It really isn't that comfortable hanging free and I realised in Waitrose I was pushing my bust up like Cissie and Ada in a Les Dawson sketch although I definitely wasn't gurning ..... well I don't think I was anyway!!

Now what?

A few lie ins??

No chance if this morning is anything to go by .......... first squabbling magpies, then Cedric the bloody fuckwit sounding off and to top it all a ruddy paraffin parrot circling overhead......... aaaaarrrrrrgggggg

Well, because of the tiredness we've cancelled this weeks markets and despite my optimism all those weeks ago when I got the RT dates we haven't made cheese today either ....... hopefully we'll start again next week!

I can't believe how knackered I get by the afternoon at the moment and apparently I've got several more weeks of it!

I  have a farm booked on Monday and Tuesday ........ its the one where I have to stretch so I'm hoping that the radio therapist is wrong and the split skin will have healed and I'm back into a bra again especially with this hot weather as I won't be able to wear my parlour clothes (waterproof top and trousers - give protection from getting plastered in shit and piss but too hot and sweaty in a heat wave) eeerrrrrrmmm my old t-shirts are pretty worn and see through!!!

Anyway hopefully normal service will be resumed next week??..............very soon??

Oh and I have an appointment to see the dapper Dr. Goodman in September ........ at 4.40hours!!!! We're already laying bets as to how late that will be!

Ouch, ouch, ouch..........

Sooooooooooooo within 24 hours of ditching the crop tops and wearing a cotton rich boulder holder the rash looked much better. I was putting on the fungal cream as instructed by my GP but still thought it a waste of time!
Three days later it was looking so much better but the A team had other ideas and told me they were sending me to see Dr. Goodman (he of the bow tie and dyed hair!) after my radio therapy session ................ oh great how long a wait would that be??

10 minutes later he was examining the rash ..........
He agreed that the cotton bra was a much better idea but silk was good too .... whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatttt ... yeah ok in my dreams .......... in a past life (when I had money) I used to have silk underwear (infact I still have it in a drawer but its several sizes too small!!)
No he didn't think it was fungal
No he didn't think it was the tamoxifen

Did I think the cream was doing any good??

 'No'

So his advice was to stop using it ....... suits me!!

Within 4 days the rash had completely cleared up!

Hooray I hear you cry ............

Me too ...... except now I have another problem ..... no its not OH or his driving ..... the skin under my boob has split (it was one of the side affects Dr. Goodman listed at our first meeting along with the damaged lungs and broken ribs, so I suppose its the better option) Imagine severe athletes foot under all you toes on one foot ...... ouch ouch ouch

Remedy .... a gel to rub on .....ouch, ouch ouch and no bra ........ hopefully with only 3 more sessions it won't get much worse and I'll get used to no support!!

The other side affect this week has been the fatigue .... I'll never know if it was to do with the 2 markets we did last weekend (the only 2 which were a must during the RT) and/or the heat or just all the travelling catching up but I've had to have afternoon naps .......

What an old lady!

Thank goodness we have two cars

Now that we have a daily commute to RD&E for radio therapy we have found that leaving at 08.10hours means we get there between 09.15 and 09.30hrs ..... there is still parking and generally I get called in before my 09.45 appointment.

On Friday my appointment was put back three hours due to one of the machines breaking!

Soooooooooooo we were back to the leaving ridiculously early bit ....... just as well as it took us 30 minutes longer to get there.

However I'm jumping the gun.....

....as we came off the A30 onto the slip road OH's truck started to make creaking noises ....... he didn't say anything and nor did I!!

Now at this point if it was my automobile I'd have turned the radio up  .......Once when I had to call the  AA man out  to a faulty temperature gauge, he then asked how long my engine had been making a particular noise ....... my reply 'I don't know I just turn the radio up!' .... his face was a picture!! ha ha ha!

Anyway I digress .......as we sat in the traffic jam going into Exeter the creaky noise kept happening. Still OH said nothing so in the end I mentioned it as I was having visions of us conking out and me having to run (in my dreams) to the hospital.

He had clocked it as well but was clearly keeping quiet! Instead of turning the radio up I turned it off.... we had no idea what it was and I think both secretly prayed that we would get to the hospital.

As we got out of the Oncology Dept at 13.15hrs we decided to drive to North Bovey for lunch ......... if we broke down its a lovely place to do it in!

On Monday the creaking persisted so OH took it to the garage............and left it!

Oh dear............. we've had to use my car for the last three days and.......................... yes I've driven!!

Well you didn't expect me to let OH to drive my car did you???

Now he doesn't hang onto the car door or squeal like me but then again I have lane discipline!!
He does keep pointing out cars moving lanes and complain that I'm not shouting at them! ...... yes darling the reason is they are indicating to move lanes not just swerving back and forth!
Other than that he's been a perfect passenger until today .........

Well Chris Evans you have a lot to answer for ...... I know the car thing you did today is all for a good cause but OH isn't a petrol head and the huffing and sighing that went on in the passenger seat for an hour was medal winning.
On the way back the slow, smelly (burning oil) horse box I couldn't overtake due to the windy road and car with no oomph caused a load more huffs and sighs and then that idiot Jeremy Vine was almost the icing on the cake with his school girl giggling ........ OH turned the radio off and then he let out a 'oh fucking hell' as I slammed on my anchors .......

........well I missed the tractor didn't I???

I've developed a rash!

Helloooooooooo yes, I'm still here ...........

Just not had much to report as the daily ritual of radio therapy isn't very interesting!

On Thursday as I got changed after being zapped I noticed (because there was a mirror) that I had a rash................ it wasn't where I'm being treated but in a sort of outline of the crop tops that I've been wearing instead of a bra. Of course me being me I had a bit of a panic .... what should I do??? go back to the radio therapy desk and tell them??? Leave it until tomorrow???? Oh...... it could be the tamoxifen, didn't I see rash and hives in the list of side effects ???

So I got dressed and came home.......... as soon as we'd landed I had the Tamoxifen leaflet out going through the side effects .............. yes, a rash or hives could be caused by taking it but it wasn't neccesary to tell the doctor. Good although I didn't know if it was the tamoxifen at least I didn't have to see the quack!

It didn't itch and looked a bit like a heat rash I used to get when we went abroad so I came to the conclusion that as the weather had been very hot it was combination of  heat/sweat and the crop tops!

Still I'd tell my radio therapy team in the morning.

Actually I didn't get to see them the next day as my appointment was put back 3 hours due to one of the machines breaking down and it was a different team.

I didn't tell them!

By Monday it had spread to the top of my underarm on the side I'm being treated and although still not itching looked furious!

I was back with the A team so discussed it with them ....... they confirmed  it wasn't anything to do with the radio therapy, agreed that it was probably the heat/sweat/croptop combination but advised me to see my GP.

Within an hour of arriving home I was with Dr. Fernandez ..... his knowledge of tamoxifen wasn't good he said and the Oncolgy Dept should be the ones sorting that one. Anyway he decided that it was fungal. I now have cream to apply.

Whoops .... the A team were concerned about me using the cream in the zapping area but we decided that I didn't need to.

Whilst being zapped I decided that the crop tops had to go I'd pop into M&S afterwards and buy a cotton non underwired bra.

 24 hours after ditching the crop top the rash has calmed down!

In other news.......
...... today marked the half way point of radio therapy...... two weeks today it'll be finished!!!!!!