Deja vu

Ha ha .................... I seem to have deja vu

Although I'm not conciously worrying about it the odd dreams are back and I've had concentration lapses. Infact this time it was my turn to make a fuckwit cheese ..... yes I left the vat on with the ripening curd in it so no doubt we will have a fuckwit ash in a few weeks time!! (Incidently for those of you interested in the fuckwit blue I'm going put the trier in sometime in the next few days to see how it tastes!!)

.....................and that bloke in limbo is back.................

Although I didn't know what to expect before my op I didn't actually have to rearrange things.This part of the dance means that I have had to get cover for my milk recording, cancel four weeks of cheesemaking and markets (apart from two) and (NO, I'm not listening to you naggers it has to be done - I've given up everything else)!!!

Its a strange feeling ..... you only do this sort of thing if you're going on holiday?? right???

Wrong dear heart ......in your dreams ....... it would only be for 2 weeks if you could afford it anyway.

BUT I do feel as if I'm going away, that I'm not going to be having any control over things at home....

The not knowing how I'll feel and how my body will react doesn't help.

As I shaved under my arms last night I suddenly realised that I shouldn't be doing the right underarm ....... oh bugger and from tonight will have to use simple soap, no deodrant and put the underwired boulder holders into moth balls!

Tomorrow I start radio therapy..............