So our 21st Wedding Anniversary dawned yesterday. In one way I was looking forward to it as I'd planned a surprise night away with OH but on the other I really didn't want to go back to RD&E............
Yes, I know how I've waxed lyrical about how lovely everyone is there but to be honest I'm now getting fed up with it all and suddenly I started to feel nervous and the sweating started and I was all uptight again.
As usual we did the leaving ridiculously early bit and just as well ..... why are SWH digging up all the cats eyes in West Devon and holding us up????
Don't you know who I am.............??? Clearly not............
The plan was to park in the usual carpark 15 minutes away from the hospital, have a bite to eat in the Waitrose cafe ................ DON'T SHOUT ...( I know its against my principles too but all my twitter friend cafe's seem to be the other side of Exeter) and then walk to the Oncology Centre.
Well we did it in good time despite SWH and my gripping the door handle and squeaking at the lack of OH's lane discipline and all the other fucking wankers on the road who scare me to death. As we had arrived before visiting hours we decided to try the RD&E carparks .............. no problem plenty of spaces.
So what to do for lunch...? try the cafe in the hospital then? NO! first I want to find out where the Oncology Centre is!
Yeah.... so! found it easy peasy.
Went into the first cafe which I suppose was a snack bar with a very small selection of sandwiches, crisps and biscuits and OH said is this ok for you? ..... now I was in the don't talk to me, don't ask me any questions, just do it mode so we had words .... I apologised to the lady behind the counter and then we moved to the next cafe....... our romantic lunch consisted of a houmous and salad roll for me and a tuna melt for OH with coffee.
I'd forgotten how hot the hospital was and along with this and my nerves I felt quite shit and really just wanted to run away......... get a grip .... deep breathes ...just get on with it .....bollocks, bollocks, bollocks.
We were taken to the waiting room by a lovely lady who I presume was a volunteer and who explained to me in very hushed tones what rooms we were passing as Victor Meldrew trailed behind!
Oh joy! after 20 minutes we were told that Dr Goodman was running 50 minutes late and if we needed extra parking time to report to reception...... fantastic this time we were in the hospital. OH was duly despatched to reception.
He returned to report that we would have an extra 1.5 hrs added FOC to our parking.
At 15.30hrs an hour after I should have seen Dr Goodman, Tina the nurse called me in to a consultation room ......now, either she was having a bad day or is normally a miserable cow but she's the first person I've met on this journey who made me feel I was a nuisance.
As you know (or do you?) OH likes to fiddle with things ... if there's a button he'll press it and as we sat waiting he started to pick up things and move around the room and annoy me as I was still in the don't do anything, I'm getting very uptight mode.
Finally Dr Goodman appeared ...... not at all how I'd expected him to be ..... bow tie and (I'm sure) dyed hair!! but I liked him instantly! He explained everything in detail and despite being behind with his appointments wasn't in any hurry to get rid of me.
So I've got ER positive bastard cancer which apparently is better than HER2 bastard cancer . ..... mine is the oestrogen fed one which isn't helped by the fact that I'm still having periods ....... yes those periods that started when I was 12 and are still bugging me at 50 despite the fact that I NEVER wanted children ...... no use complaining though its bloody happened!
Tamoxifen is the tablet that I've been prescribed to piss off this oestrogen but despite having the prescription I'm still looking at it (the possible side effects are not attractive)
I will start radio therapy in a months time although no date has been set. I will also need a CT scan so they can work out where to zap me!
The RT possible side effects don't fill me with joy ..... persistant permanent cough, cracked ribs, sore/cracked skin. Also over time my boob will become smaller and firmer 'isn't that what every woman wants?' I asked - I know I'll never make it to the stage but this actually cracked him and OH up!!! The downside apparently is that the other boob will stay the same!!
After seeing Dr Goodman we had to wait for Tina to come back with a CT scan appointment ....... still in miserable cow mode she handed me a card and said 'next Thursday 30th Radiotherapy dept'. I actually had to clarify where this was
......... Tina - take it from me love ....if you hate your job for everyones sake please resign and go elsewhere.
My CT scan appointment was changed today to 6th June .................. so now 2 weeks until the next RD&E episode!!!