Thursday, 9 May 2013

I've cried lots....

Where the fuck do I begin?

I thought after publishing 'My Family' post everything would be all fine and dandy! I would have got rid of frustrations about my family and life would back on an even keel!

Today I was a 'lady that lunches' .......... had a fab catch up with my friend who treated me to lunch. Apart fom seeing each other briefly at 2 markets we needed 5 months talking,  How quickly 2 hours go (bloody car parking again)

Yes.... by the way Cornwall CC I've paid a lot in your carparks three times this week - 2 to eat in Bude at lunch time and 1 to sell my cheese at the farmers market  ..... thanks for the welcome NOT

Anyway had a lush lunch, came home and sorted cheeses for OH to take to Bude Farmers Market... well ...... that sort of happened but then we had a bit of a disagreement ........

Whilst I was picking out the cheese I suddenly burst into tears and had this overwhelming urge for my mum.... for fuck sake why??

When I went back to OH I just clung onto him and sobbed that I wanted my mum ....... what the fuck........ as I blogged before she hasn't been any support and won't come to visit but I just  wanted my mum!

Any way apart from the half dozen tears or so on the cider washed cheeses I mentioned  6 weeks or so ago I haven't cried at all during this bastard cancer thing!

Well until now!

This evening I've just cried and cried and cried .......perhaps this is a release I don't know!

I'm 50, left home at 19 (because I was made to) had a shit time in the police, then forged a career in garden centre management before finding my true vocation ..... cheesemaking ........ now I want my mum ... what the hell is the matter with me ???

No comments:

Post a Comment