Memory loss

Now I haven't mentioned the memory loss have I??

Well don't ask me I can't remember......

Actually joking aside I do seem to have a memory problem at the moment which is both frustrating and worrying.

Infact bloody worrying..........

I've always had a very good memory and prided myself on it, not only remembering my stuff but also things for OH who has always had the worst memory in the world and frustrated me for ever........... now I'm the crap one.

Since this bastard cancer I can't remember things......

It started with forgetting words and names of things in conversation, making me hesitate mid sentence as I frantically tried to think what I wanted to say.......the most embarrassing time was whilst giving a talk to a local WI last month and I had to turn to OH and ask him what word I was looking for on several occasions, god knows what the ladies thought ......... village idiot springs to mind.

I have another WI talk in October which I'm now dreading ...... I used to enjoy them but now I'm not sure how I'll come across .......... village idiot springs to mind.

I'm into the fourth month of taking Tamoxifen and it seems that soon after I started popping these pills my memory loss started. .......... is it the pill??

Hopefully Dr. Goodman will be able to help......

Sooooooooooooo I haven't told you about my oncology appointment last week .......

The appointment was for 1640 hours with the dapper Dr Goodman ...... he of the dyed hair and bow tie.

As you well know we left ridiculously early..... I clung to the car door handle and squawed appropriately ..... infact you can fill in the rest !!!!!

I booked into Oncology 20 mins early and as we got into the waiting room saw that the clinic was running 45 minutes late and that .............. WHAAAAAAAT???? Dr. Goodman was away.

How can he be? I have an appointment with him.

OH and I had both taken books so we settled down for the duration ..............

I looked up several times and saw that the miserable Tina was still in the department wandering around, just hoped that she wasn't on my watch.

At 1652 hours a lovely smiley nurse (definitely not Teeena) called me into an examination room and said Dr. Norris would see me and if I could put on one of the fetching gowns!!

Fetching gown on ..... a young man bounced in and introduced himself as Dr. Tim Norris

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm reminded me of a young Dr. from the Carry on films ...... no not Kenneth Williams!

Anyway we had a bit of a chat about the radio therapy and I filled him in about my infection.

He asked if I had any questions .................... errrr 'No' .... 'sometimes people have 20 questions now' he said uuummmmm 'No' I frantically racked my brains .... felt like an interview where you MUST have questions .... nope .. give up. Then OH said 'What about your memory loss?'

Phew ...... yes .... memory loss...............................

Well he just sat and looked at me as I rabbited on about my memory loss and Tamoxifen theory and wouldn't be drawn on it  ......... infact nodded and smiled like the carry on Dr. but said nothing making me feel as if I was making it up.

He then examined me ...... prodding and poking and especially prodding where my infection had been feeling scare tissue apparently ..... (please don't do that I don't want an infection again) ............ (suppose at least I have a lovely GP who can sort it out!!)

Everything seems fine ... he said.

Anyway two days later I got an appointment through for my next oncologist appointment with Dr. Goodman on 4th march (exactly a year to the day of my mammogram which started all this bastard cancer business) so lets see how I am then and hopefully the man himself will be in residence!!

I still don't know though whether I've got early onset dementia or its just the bloody tablets............