Hardly any waiting....... my latest Consultants appointment!

Guess what?


Yes, you're right ........ I've just had an appointment at RD&E ........


You're going to be disappointed though ....... apart from me hanging on to the door handle squawking at times, we weren't our usual predictable selves!


We didn't leave ridiculously early!


How come I hear you ask.


Well I had a shopping  list ..... my trainers circa 1985 have been hanging on despite bits dropping off the bottom over the last six weeks. Trip to a trainer shop needed!


Having kept up and increased my running for three and a half months I still haven't got a sports bra. Trip to M&S bra department needed!
(especially as yesterday at the end of my run I had a sore and bleeding nipple on the cancer boob ....... more of that later)


Oh and the bathroom scales packed up a couple of weeks ago. Trip to John Lewis needed!


So we left after I'd finished the day job and washed the cow shit out of my hair, at around 10.15am!


Now I had a brain wave about parking ...... normally for our rare shopping trips in Exeter we use the Quay car park, however as I trundled off to work this morning I realised that after we'd shopped we would have to move the car and then do a big loop in a lot of traffic to get back to RD&E. The chances of a space at the hospital would be non existent so I had a cunning plan .......... we'd park in the Triangle car park and pay for a days parking, then walk into the city and then walk to RD&E.


So we did!


On our walk we passed Real Food Exeter, a community owned shop and café which I follow on Twitter and have always wondered where they were situated. Now I know. After a coffee there we bought the things on the shopping list and then it was time for lunch. We popped back for a sandwich and glass of wine ......... it was conveniently on the route to RD&E.


Despite all this careful planning, we got to RD&E way too early, so had a coffee and then went down to the clinic.
My appointment was 3.15pm so going on all previous clinics which have run one and a half to two hours late I expected to be called in at aound 4.45pm!


No! by 3.35pm I was sitting in a consulting room with one of the fetching gowns on waiting for Mr. Ferguson.


Actually it wasn't the man himself but a lovely Doctor from his team Dr. Mackenzie and a fellow lady Doctor whose name I've forgotten!


What a nice man, he had such a good bedside manner and definitely made up for the brusque Oncology Doctor on my last appointment!


Now over the last 17 months I've been prodded and poked and always been asked if its ok for this to be done, however this guy is the first to say 'if whilst I'm doing it, It hurts please tell me to stop'.


Brownie points!!


He and Lady Doctor also got Brownie points as during the discussion about Tamoxifen I mentioned that different brands had different side effects. They both said they'd heard this before and that I should ask the pharmacist to try and get my preferred brand every time, and it should be possible due to them having different suppliers!


Ah yes the sore and bleeding nipple .......


Now I'm sure that this is down to pre menstrual tenderness (yes! I'm still having periods!!) and being chafed by my bra, but of course with my history it could be a sign of breast cancer so I mentioned it to him.


After he'd examined me he said everything felt fine and he couldn't see any changes in my skin but if the bleeding continued to get in touch although he thought it was just the chafing responsible for it and that my new sports bra would sort it out!


By 3.50pm we were on our way back to the car!

Its not time to say good bye yet!

Oh hello!


Yes I'm still here ........


......... and yes I know I've neglected you! I'm sorry!


I know you thought that as I'd got the all clear I'd just bugger off  and leave you!


....... but I couldn't do that to you ....... we've been through so much.....


...... and I know its been two months since we last spoke but suddenly life took off and I've been living it to the full ....... I'm sure you'll understand especially when I tell you about my friend who has recently been diagnosed with an inoperable tumour. (future blog post)

I have missed you and our chats though .......  just not had the time to write!


So here I am .......


Is this goodbye?


Well! during my dance you asked me not to give up writing the blog and since the all clear I have gained more readers, several of whom, who after reading the blog in its entirety have asked me to continue writing.......


What can I write about??


Well, I am still having regular consultant appointments but now you know me so well you'll be able to write them for me ........ left ridiculously early, no parking spaces at RD&E, clinic running one and a half hours late etc!



Ok how about life after the dance?


My ramblings.......


 ...... I have kept up the running and am doing around three miles a day four or five days a week although some of you will know and for those that don't I had an accident a couple of weeks ago where I went arse over tit, crossing the road in Bideford (and that was before a drink) and seriously hurt myself, bruising my knees, hands and right leg. So nine days without running......


At least  I was still able to hobble out for a three mile walk with the doggens.
However prior to that I had even gone out morning and evening and run a total of six miles on a couple of occasions.


Everyone is joking that I'll be running marathons soon but actually its not really my thing ......... famous last words I know but of course you'll be the first to know when I've signed up to one because I'll be wanting your money for a breast cancer charity!


I'll never know what caused my breast cancer ...... it would be great to know so I could poke it in the eye with a sharp stick but that's not going to happen so a bit like shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted I will continue to improve my lifestyle, hence the running and continued diet of eight to nine portions of fruit and veg a day.


Interestingly Breakthrough Breast Cancer www.breakthrough.org.uk/brisk/ currently have a campaign at the moment about How active are you? Raise your pulse, reduce your risk


Apparently 30 minutes of daily physical activity or 3.5 hours a week can reduce the risk of breast cancer by at least 20%.


Stable door and horse spring to mind ........ but ....... its never too late and I'm doing my best to prove it and inspire others!


So I'm thinking its not time to say good bye yet!

The dance is over ........

Finally ........ my results letter has arrived!



Yes .............only eleven days since my phone call to Mr. F's secretary about it and six and a half weeks since my mammogram!!!


HOWEVER....


I've got the all clear ......... the bastard cancer has fucked off!


The dance is over, the music has stopped and the orchestra has gone home ......


Time to open the prosecco .....................

The wait goes on .................

You may remember that after my mammogram on the 4th April I was told that if they needed to recall me it would be within two weeks. If not they would send the results to Mr. Ferguson who would then write to me with them. If I hadn't heard anything within four weeks I'd need to phone Mr.F's secretary.


Today is exactly five weeks since my mammogram..........


I haven't heard anything!


Now you may wonder why I didn't phone Mr. F's secretary last week when the four weeks was up.


Well you should know me by know ........ put off today what you can do tomorrow ......... especially when it involves phoning someone who never answers the phone when I call and doesn't return answer phone messages or the answer phone cuts off before I can leave my number...... this sort of thing makes me anxious.......... that's why OH has usually phoned in the past.




This morning whilst OH was at a market I gave myself a strict talking to and looked up the number.


Well you could have knocked me down with a feather ........ four rings and Mr.Ferguson's secretary answered!


I explained everything, gave her my hospital number and she looked me up on her computer.


'The last letter you should have received was dated the 8th March'


'Yes that was the results of my cyst removal'


'Um, there's nothing else. I'm new here and can only look at letters sent so I need to speak to a colleague and phone you back.'


Oh bugger I was going to be in and out all day and the previous secretary wouldn't leave a message!


'If I'm not here you can leave a message'


'Thank you'


Sounded promising.


Anyway she phoned about an hour later .......


'I have just finished typing you a letter with your results, so we now need Mr. Ferguson to have a few spare minutes to sign it and it will be with you very soon. You have a follow up appointment with him on the 6th August which we'll still keep. So the letter will be with you very soon'


' Can't you give me my results over the phone?'


'No sorry, not until Mr. Ferguson has signed the letter.'


Soooooooooooooooo the wait goes on ............




Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggggggggg

Tamoxifen

I'm still waiting for the letter from Mr. Ferguson ...............


No news is good news I guess so I'm presuming that my mammogram is clear BUT whilst we hang around waiting I thought that perhaps we could make polite conversation and discuss Tamoxifen.


On Friday I collected my latest Tamoxifen prescription ................. yup this is the eleventh one from the surgery (first one was from a chemist) so I've been knocking them back for a year!


Now you may recall that last year I put off taking these bad boys as I was worried by the side effects ........... weight gain being top of the list. 


I really wasn't bothered by the other side effects ....... DVT, face swelling, unusual vaginal bleeding, hot flushes, leg cramps, dry skin, confusion, depression etc etc ........ oh you can google the side effects , there are too many to mention here!


Sooooooooooooooooo 12 months down the line whats the verdict???? ............


Well I had the same make of Tamoxifen for two months (as I mentioned at the time) and then it changed to Teva .........Teva and I jogged along, and apart from the dry skin, dry eyes, leg cramps, oh and all the other things I realised that everything was ok as I hadn't grown two heads, a tail or hairs on my palms.................


.......... and the weight gain??????


Well at the end of August I decided that I needed to lose weight.


Before my diagnosis I was already over weight and during my treatment with all the inactivity and socialising I piled on even more weight and possibly the Tamoxifen made me gain a few pounds. Who knows.


So I and a few other twitter friends formed an online slimming club.


Once a week we announced our weight loss (or gain). What an incentive to stick at it though!


By cutting down on what I ate and of course trying to fit in 8-9 portions of fruit and veg a day I lost one and a half stone. However it was difficult and most of the time I felt hungry, even after eating a big meal. Tamoxifen makes you feel hungry that's for sure. So I now understand how weight gain is a side effect.



Last month I collected my prescription and knew instantly by the feel of the packet through the bag that it was a different brand






I tried not to panic but wondered what Wockhardt had in store for me?!


Oh noooooooooooooo what are they like??? will I have all the initial symptoms again???


Oh for goodness sake .......... get on with it!


Do you know what?


These ones are great ............. no leg cramps ............


So much so that on Friday I dug out my trainers from under the stairs where they have been for at least the last ten years and after hoovering them (of cobwebs and stuff) I went for a run with the dogs!


Do you know I was really chuffed because although I ran then walked then ran on our 3 mile route I found it quite easy! All the walking has clearly improved my fitness.


The only odd thing you will have notice should you have been stalking me is that I have to hold my right boob as I run ....... a strange sight I know but I clearly need to  get a sports bra!! The lumpectomy has made bouncing around painful


Yesterday  I tried it again (along with boob clasping) and I ran further. 


I'm sure those of you that run miles on a regular basis will just shrug but I'm really chuffed. Infact so much so that I posted it on facebook and twitter and then discovered that I had inspired a twitter friend who suffers from depression to put his running shoes on and kick the black dog into touch.


There is a down side though to no leg cramps ................


I seem to get emotional and teary for no apparent reason. Just like I did at the start of taking Tamoxifen.


Which one do I prefer???


The latter .......... at least I can blink away a few tears without any pain!

My breast cancer article for our Parish magazine

Last month I was asked to write an article about breast cancer for our Parish magazine.

Its three weeks since the magazine was distributed to local households. I assumed people would read it and hoped that maybe it would help someone, if not now but at a later date.
So I've been pleasantly surprised by the positive response it has received.

The last lady to get in touch was someone who had known from the start of my diagnosis but had appeared to go out of her way to avoid me over the last year. She made a point of phoning to tell me how brave she thought I was for sharing my story and that she was sure it would help someone and that she was going to keep the article just incase ..........

I've only had one negative reply, a person telling me that my advice about TLC wouldn't have helped her ..... it wouldn't have helped me either, because as you all know the mammogram was my saviour.

I was just trying to cover basic awareness in the article.

Anyway I thought I'd share the article with you.........

Breast cancer

 

v    Breast cancer is the most common cancer.

 

v    One woman in eight will be diagnosed with Breast cancer in her life time.

 

v    Around 50,000 women and 400 men are diagnosed each year with Breast cancer.

 

v    The NHS automatically invite women aged 50-70 who are registered with a GP for breast cancer screening every three years.

 

v    Around a third of breast cancers are diagnosed through screening.

 

So what? You’re thinking this is just a load of statistics, why should I read this? It doesn’t affect me.

 

A year ago I would have been thinking the same as you but in March 2013 I became part of those statistics.

 

Two days after my 50^th Birthday I attended the mobile breast screening unit in a Holsworthy car park and had my first mammogram. It didn’t take long and soon I was on the way home and to be honest I didn’t give it another thought.

Nine days later I got a letter with an appointment to go to Exeter for further screening. This involved another mammogram and a biopsy. Five days later I had to return to Exeter for the biopsy results.

 

It was breast cancer.

 

The lump was small which is why I hadn’t felt it and if it hadn’t been for the screening I wouldn’t have found it for maybe another couple of years.

 

Initially I was shocked, scared and angry.

 

I decided to start a blog and write about my breast cancer. Not only did I find this cathartic but it also helped people keep up with my treatment without feeling they had to phone or e-mail every few days to see how I was getting on! Perhaps rather naively I didn’t realise at the start that it would be read worldwide in fact I just thought a few friends would look at it every now and then, however to date there have been over 8700 page views and I’ve been told that I’ve made some people laugh and been an inspiration to others.

It can be found at sarahsdancewithcancer.blogspot.com

 

Now enough about me!

 

If you are invited for a mammogram please go, it could save your life!

 

Are you breast aware?

 

Do you know what your breasts look and feel like normally?

Are you on the look out for any unusual changes?

It’s a good idea to get into the habit and do it regularly, maybe in the bath or shower.

Me? I do it first thing in the morning on the way down to the loo!

 

I’ve pinched this from one of the breast cancer charities but it’s as easy as TLC.

 

T ouch your breasts – can you feel anything unusual?

L ook for changes – Is there any change in shape or texture?

C heck anything unusual with your Doctor

 

Now there’s no special way of checking yourself and each Doctor and Consultant who has examined me has their own way so don’t be scared to have a good feel of yourself.

 

If you have any breast cancer or breast health concerns or you are a friend or relative of someone who has, who can you talk to?

 

Well there’s your Doctor and then there are also breast cancer charities, two of which are listed below.

 

www.breastcancercare.org.uk

They also have a free helpline 0808 8006000

 

www.breakthrough.org.uk

 

The best advice I was given and which I will pass onto you …. DON’T google anything about breast cancer ……. It will scare you to death unnecessarily! Talk to the healthcare professionals.

I think I can stop holding my breath......

Soooooooooooooooooo for the last thirteen days I've been there waiting for the postman, hoping that he hasn't any post for us but also willing him (them)  ...... (yes we still have the job share muppets) to deliver our post to the neighbours by mistake! Although the neighbour always brings it over as  ...... The Holstein Journal, Down your Whey and Know your Curds magazine doesn't interest them!!!!


Ha ha ... prize if you guess the made up names!!!!


I think I can now stop holding my breath ...............


...........................and breathe!


Yup ...... the two weeks is up tomorrow and as its Good Friday ........and .........useless piece of information exactly a year to the day that I had my lumpectomy - can you believe that?


I don't think there will be a letter on Saturday.


I'm beginning to believe that my mammogram results are clear!


I have to say that I've been worrying on and off over the last fortnight and felt like I'm in limbo again  because of last year  but also I've had the 'I've been there done that, got the T-shirt' thought and realised that I fought the BASTARD and won so how dare it even think about showing its face again.


It probably sounds easy to you but the bastard cancer does mess with your head .......


Anyway .......... just waiting now for one of the muppets to deliver my results from Mr. Ferguson.