I can't believe that its two weeks ago today since I got my results and a month on Friday since my operation .......
I had expected to have an appointment by now to see the oncologist about my radio therapy treatment but I've heard nothing.
Today there was a letter in the post from RD&E which I assumed was the appointment as I ripped it open but it was the consultants letter listing the treatment I've received so far and future treatment plan. This is for me put in my little folder.
Now I haven't mentioned my little folder before but on the day I saw the breast cancer care nurse for my biopsy results she disappeared into a cupboard (literally)and came out with a little ring binder folder and explained the contents, crossing a few things out here and there as some of it was out of date e.g 3-5 day stay in hospital after the op!!. It basically has sections explaining each part of my treatment. I even stupidly said 'oooh I get my own folder to keep, do I?'
Me being me, I left it in my bag for a few days not really wanting to read about all the gory details involved in the treatment of breast cancer or any side effects involved.
No! much easier to bury my head in the sand and ignore it! ............. that way it might go away......yes the bastard cancer might just fuck off and then I wouldn't need the manual!
Well unsurprisingly it didn't go away so I had to read it ....................side effects and all.... scared me shitless!
When I was on the day ward for my op I noticed several ladies had their folders with them. Why? Should I have brought mine with me? No! Don't be silly its just an information folder.
I did have that sinking feeling though for a moment, the one you got at school when everyone else seemed to have got a book/equipment in a lesson and yours was at home because you didn't see the need for it that day!
Whilst sitting waiting to see the consultant for my results 2 weeks ago I saw other ladies had their folders with them and for a moment had that do they know something that I don't feeling. Did I misread the letter? No don't panic, of course not.
Anyway after giving me my results Mr Ferguson explained that I would get a letter from him listing my diagnoses, treatment so far and future treatment plan which I could put in my folder.....
So there you are you now know all about my little folder!
Wednesday, 15 May 2013
Thursday, 9 May 2013
I've cried lots....
Where the fuck do I begin?
I thought after publishing 'My Family' post everything would be all fine and dandy! I would have got rid of frustrations about my family and life would back on an even keel!
Today I was a 'lady that lunches' .......... had a fab catch up with my friend who treated me to lunch. Apart fom seeing each other briefly at 2 markets we needed 5 months talking, How quickly 2 hours go (bloody car parking again)
Yes.... by the way Cornwall CC I've paid a lot in your carparks three times this week - 2 to eat in Bude at lunch time and 1 to sell my cheese at the farmers market ..... thanks for the welcome NOT
Anyway had a lush lunch, came home and sorted cheeses for OH to take to Bude Farmers Market... well ...... that sort of happened but then we had a bit of a disagreement ........
Whilst I was picking out the cheese I suddenly burst into tears and had this overwhelming urge for my mum.... for fuck sake why??
When I went back to OH I just clung onto him and sobbed that I wanted my mum ....... what the fuck........ as I blogged before she hasn't been any support and won't come to visit but I just wanted my mum!
Any way apart from the half dozen tears or so on the cider washed cheeses I mentioned 6 weeks or so ago I haven't cried at all during this bastard cancer thing!
Well until now!
This evening I've just cried and cried and cried .......perhaps this is a release I don't know!
I'm 50, left home at 19 (because I was made to) had a shit time in the police, then forged a career in garden centre management before finding my true vocation ..... cheesemaking ........ now I want my mum ... what the hell is the matter with me ???
I thought after publishing 'My Family' post everything would be all fine and dandy! I would have got rid of frustrations about my family and life would back on an even keel!
Today I was a 'lady that lunches' .......... had a fab catch up with my friend who treated me to lunch. Apart fom seeing each other briefly at 2 markets we needed 5 months talking, How quickly 2 hours go (bloody car parking again)
Yes.... by the way Cornwall CC I've paid a lot in your carparks three times this week - 2 to eat in Bude at lunch time and 1 to sell my cheese at the farmers market ..... thanks for the welcome NOT
Anyway had a lush lunch, came home and sorted cheeses for OH to take to Bude Farmers Market... well ...... that sort of happened but then we had a bit of a disagreement ........
Whilst I was picking out the cheese I suddenly burst into tears and had this overwhelming urge for my mum.... for fuck sake why??
When I went back to OH I just clung onto him and sobbed that I wanted my mum ....... what the fuck........ as I blogged before she hasn't been any support and won't come to visit but I just wanted my mum!
Any way apart from the half dozen tears or so on the cider washed cheeses I mentioned 6 weeks or so ago I haven't cried at all during this bastard cancer thing!
Well until now!
This evening I've just cried and cried and cried .......perhaps this is a release I don't know!
I'm 50, left home at 19 (because I was made to) had a shit time in the police, then forged a career in garden centre management before finding my true vocation ..... cheesemaking ........ now I want my mum ... what the hell is the matter with me ???
Wednesday, 8 May 2013
My Family
Now I first published this post on 8th May 2013 and apologise to those of you that read it then ........
As no, nothing has changed in it.
I actually took it off my blog as my sister sent me a get well card - six weeks after my operation seemingly as a result of what I'd said.
Great you say ....... you got through!
No, I'm afraid not. She wrote a critical message which inferred I was making a mountain out of a mole hill about the lack of communication between us and washing my dirty linen in public.
She'd clearly told my parents as well.
Soooooooo I did what I do best at and came down below the parapet and took the blog post down to avoid any conflict!
Yes I'm a coward and hate conflict. (Except where OH is concerned apparently ...... so he says!!!)
OH was cross that I had (taken the post down) and on reflection I feel I was too hasty but at the time I thought that I'd gone too far and that they'd been hurt by it and perhaps change and call/visit.
On the other hand I though perhaps its me that needs to change ............
Anyway nothing changed .........I met my parents twice in a pub for a total of three and a half hours, and both times it was very strained. They avoided mentioning the bastard cancer and changed the subject when I mentioned it. (thank goodness for The Ring of Bells!)
My sister did her duty and phoned briefly on Christmas Day but avoided asking 'how are you?'
My mother left an answer phone message the other day and mentioned the annual Easter visit to Devon in passing ....... of course there was no 'will we see you that week?' or 'are you at a market nearby?'
So bollocks I thought!
I realised nothing has changed so that's why I'm publishing this post again. Its all part of my dance........ which is slowly coming to an end!
I started this post just after Easter and I've thought long and hard about whether I should publish it. I found it cathartic at the time just to write it. To some it might appear that I'm washing my dirty linen in public but I've decided that its my blog, my journey and my family.
I'm sure it seems strange to some that I haven't mentioned my family at all since I started this blog and when I was interviewed by Fitz on Radio Devon he did mention family in a question which I side stepped as I couldn't say that they'd given me support. What could I say?
After I'd been for my second scan and biopsy I phoned my parents who are in their seventies to let them know what was happening, my dad answered the phone which suddenly seemed to become a hot potato and he handed it to my mother 'because she'd like to hear about it'. Now my Dad is having some heart problems and I asked him about his latest hospital visit but he'd already passed the parcel. My mothers first reaction was 'have you told your sister?? ' 'No' why should I tell my sister when nothing has been confirmed and as we don't get on that well there's no point. 'She gets so upset about these things and when your father was last rushed to hospital she was in floods of tears and I had to speak to L. (her 16 year old daughter) She did manage to say she was sorry to hear my news before then telling me about someone she knew who was 73 and asked for a scan which picked up a lump and resulted in 7 weeks of radio therapy , adding that it involves going everyday and you have to go to a hospital that does it. Yes, THANKS Mum thats all I need to hear.
On the day of my diagnosis I phoned her to tell her the shit news and her first question was 'have you phoned your sister?' 'NO'! (I bloody well haven't). We then had the she gets so upset conversation... in the end I said it was probably best that as they were staying in a holiday let together over Easter that she told her after a glass or two!!
Her next call was on my loss of positivity day. OH answered and she did ask how he was and he told her that we were having a bad day, handed the phone to me and she didn't ask how I was but just discussed the weather and what she'd been doing and how a friend who'd had cancer years ago still had problems where her lymph nodes had been removed. THANKS Mum.
On the way back from the hospital after seeing the registrar I phoned her to let her know my operation date and guess what the question was??? ........No I haven't phoned my sister. She then said that she'd phone her that night because although she'd considered not telling her until after I'd had my operation she decided that perhaps although we didn't get on she might like to talk to me about. Yeah right. Oh, and she managed to tell me about someone she knows who had a lump removed and and lymph nodes but then amazed the consultant by being able to lift her arm and move it normally after such a short time blah blah blah. THANKS Mum.
When we got home OH phoned my sister and told her the news and she said she was sorry............ but didn't get upset!
For years every Easter my parents and sister and her family stay in South Devon for a week. We used to drive down and visit but due to work and more recently markets we haven't been able to for sometime. They have never made the trip to us and this year we texted my Dad and niece to let them know that we were 20 miles down the road at a market on easter Sunday, hoping that they'd pop by but got a phone call at lunchtime to say they'd only got the messages due to no signal in S. Devon! and due to the fact that they were out walking and their was a landslip etc etc. Wouldn't be able to make it.
Today my mother phoned to say they'd just got back from Devon and she thought she'd just phone before unpacking etc. There was no, how are you? how are you feeling? straight into how cold it was in Devon (Hello yes I know we live in Devon) and what they'd been doing all week!
I suppose everyone deals with things differently and I've got used to the fact that my family don't come to visit but I had hoped that they might pop by this week.
Since writing this I have spoken to my mother on several occasions. During one conversation she mentioned that she'd booked to go for breast screening. When I asked if it was because of me, her response was no she'd been thinking about it for the last month. Coincidence then! Other than that its always the same old conversation about the weather or the garden or that they are coming down to S. Devon in May and perhaps we could meet for lunch somewhere!
On one such occasion I snapped and got very angry with her and had a rant. Her response ' we do care about you' and 'we see you when we come to Devon'. We only see your sister at Easter, in August and at half term .... that will be 3 weeks then! Yeah right..... and you see me for one and a half hours once maybe twice a year in a pub and still making excuses about not coming to stay.
I give up............. perhaps they do care in their odd way but they seem to be in denial about my bastard cancer.
Oh and my sister? No she hasn't been in touch................
So thats my family!
As no, nothing has changed in it.
I actually took it off my blog as my sister sent me a get well card - six weeks after my operation seemingly as a result of what I'd said.
Great you say ....... you got through!
No, I'm afraid not. She wrote a critical message which inferred I was making a mountain out of a mole hill about the lack of communication between us and washing my dirty linen in public.
She'd clearly told my parents as well.
Soooooooo I did what I do best at and came down below the parapet and took the blog post down to avoid any conflict!
Yes I'm a coward and hate conflict. (Except where OH is concerned apparently ...... so he says!!!)
OH was cross that I had (taken the post down) and on reflection I feel I was too hasty but at the time I thought that I'd gone too far and that they'd been hurt by it and perhaps change and call/visit.
On the other hand I though perhaps its me that needs to change ............
Anyway nothing changed .........I met my parents twice in a pub for a total of three and a half hours, and both times it was very strained. They avoided mentioning the bastard cancer and changed the subject when I mentioned it. (thank goodness for The Ring of Bells!)
My sister did her duty and phoned briefly on Christmas Day but avoided asking 'how are you?'
My mother left an answer phone message the other day and mentioned the annual Easter visit to Devon in passing ....... of course there was no 'will we see you that week?' or 'are you at a market nearby?'
So bollocks I thought!
I realised nothing has changed so that's why I'm publishing this post again. Its all part of my dance........ which is slowly coming to an end!
I started this post just after Easter and I've thought long and hard about whether I should publish it. I found it cathartic at the time just to write it. To some it might appear that I'm washing my dirty linen in public but I've decided that its my blog, my journey and my family.
I'm sure it seems strange to some that I haven't mentioned my family at all since I started this blog and when I was interviewed by Fitz on Radio Devon he did mention family in a question which I side stepped as I couldn't say that they'd given me support. What could I say?
After I'd been for my second scan and biopsy I phoned my parents who are in their seventies to let them know what was happening, my dad answered the phone which suddenly seemed to become a hot potato and he handed it to my mother 'because she'd like to hear about it'. Now my Dad is having some heart problems and I asked him about his latest hospital visit but he'd already passed the parcel. My mothers first reaction was 'have you told your sister?? ' 'No' why should I tell my sister when nothing has been confirmed and as we don't get on that well there's no point. 'She gets so upset about these things and when your father was last rushed to hospital she was in floods of tears and I had to speak to L. (her 16 year old daughter) She did manage to say she was sorry to hear my news before then telling me about someone she knew who was 73 and asked for a scan which picked up a lump and resulted in 7 weeks of radio therapy , adding that it involves going everyday and you have to go to a hospital that does it. Yes, THANKS Mum thats all I need to hear.
On the day of my diagnosis I phoned her to tell her the shit news and her first question was 'have you phoned your sister?' 'NO'! (I bloody well haven't). We then had the she gets so upset conversation... in the end I said it was probably best that as they were staying in a holiday let together over Easter that she told her after a glass or two!!
Her next call was on my loss of positivity day. OH answered and she did ask how he was and he told her that we were having a bad day, handed the phone to me and she didn't ask how I was but just discussed the weather and what she'd been doing and how a friend who'd had cancer years ago still had problems where her lymph nodes had been removed. THANKS Mum.
On the way back from the hospital after seeing the registrar I phoned her to let her know my operation date and guess what the question was??? ........No I haven't phoned my sister. She then said that she'd phone her that night because although she'd considered not telling her until after I'd had my operation she decided that perhaps although we didn't get on she might like to talk to me about. Yeah right. Oh, and she managed to tell me about someone she knows who had a lump removed and and lymph nodes but then amazed the consultant by being able to lift her arm and move it normally after such a short time blah blah blah. THANKS Mum.
When we got home OH phoned my sister and told her the news and she said she was sorry............ but didn't get upset!
For years every Easter my parents and sister and her family stay in South Devon for a week. We used to drive down and visit but due to work and more recently markets we haven't been able to for sometime. They have never made the trip to us and this year we texted my Dad and niece to let them know that we were 20 miles down the road at a market on easter Sunday, hoping that they'd pop by but got a phone call at lunchtime to say they'd only got the messages due to no signal in S. Devon! and due to the fact that they were out walking and their was a landslip etc etc. Wouldn't be able to make it.
Today my mother phoned to say they'd just got back from Devon and she thought she'd just phone before unpacking etc. There was no, how are you? how are you feeling? straight into how cold it was in Devon (Hello yes I know we live in Devon) and what they'd been doing all week!
I suppose everyone deals with things differently and I've got used to the fact that my family don't come to visit but I had hoped that they might pop by this week.
Since writing this I have spoken to my mother on several occasions. During one conversation she mentioned that she'd booked to go for breast screening. When I asked if it was because of me, her response was no she'd been thinking about it for the last month. Coincidence then! Other than that its always the same old conversation about the weather or the garden or that they are coming down to S. Devon in May and perhaps we could meet for lunch somewhere!
On one such occasion I snapped and got very angry with her and had a rant. Her response ' we do care about you' and 'we see you when we come to Devon'. We only see your sister at Easter, in August and at half term .... that will be 3 weeks then! Yeah right..... and you see me for one and a half hours once maybe twice a year in a pub and still making excuses about not coming to stay.
I give up............. perhaps they do care in their odd way but they seem to be in denial about my bastard cancer.
Oh and my sister? No she hasn't been in touch................
So thats my family!
Monday, 6 May 2013
Friends 2
Since this shit has happened I've been overwhelmed by the support I've received from so many people ......
Where do I begin ..... and who do I begin with? ...so in no particular order ....
The traders who have offered to sell the cheese if we can't make a market , who have helped OH set up his pitch (and given him breakfast) and who have sent the most amazing food parcels home with him. And the lovely lady who prays for me ! Thank you!
The customers who have sent lovely e-mails/tweets and given me presents and flowers and sent their good wishes via OH. Thank you!
The fab network of people on twitter and facebook who have supported and encouraged me, sworn at me , bollocked me, made me laugh and sent me personal messages, requested a mention and song on the radio for me and sent me presents and cards! Thank you!
The amazing friends who have turned up to do the cleaning and gardening and have planned to take leave from work to help during my radio therapy. Bought me books and magazines and sent me dvd's (even if they are shit) Thank you!
The friends who have asked me out to lunch and / or come round for lunch to keep me sane! Thank you!
.... and my bloody brilliant twitter sisters who have come especially to see me and given me hugs at markets. (also finding my long lost 'sister' who likes to swear as much and as rudely as me!!!) Thank you
Then there is the most amazing OH in the world who has had to put up with me and the swearing and ranting and all this crap. THANK YOU!
Where do I begin ..... and who do I begin with? ...so in no particular order ....
The traders who have offered to sell the cheese if we can't make a market , who have helped OH set up his pitch (and given him breakfast) and who have sent the most amazing food parcels home with him. And the lovely lady who prays for me ! Thank you!
The customers who have sent lovely e-mails/tweets and given me presents and flowers and sent their good wishes via OH. Thank you!
The fab network of people on twitter and facebook who have supported and encouraged me, sworn at me , bollocked me, made me laugh and sent me personal messages, requested a mention and song on the radio for me and sent me presents and cards! Thank you!
The amazing friends who have turned up to do the cleaning and gardening and have planned to take leave from work to help during my radio therapy. Bought me books and magazines and sent me dvd's (even if they are shit) Thank you!
The friends who have asked me out to lunch and / or come round for lunch to keep me sane! Thank you!
.... and my bloody brilliant twitter sisters who have come especially to see me and given me hugs at markets. (also finding my long lost 'sister' who likes to swear as much and as rudely as me!!!) Thank you
Then there is the most amazing OH in the world who has had to put up with me and the swearing and ranting and all this crap. THANK YOU!
Thursday, 2 May 2013
Results day
When I was discharged from hospital after my operation I knew that the next trip there would be on 1st May for the results ... just needed the appointment time. The letter finally arrived on Friday plastered with 1st class post but as usual our job sharing muppet postman had sat on it for several days ..... 3 to be precise. Lazy bastards!
So 3pm it was.
As usual we got to Exeter ridiculously early and parked in the carpark 15 minutes walk from RD&E as there was no point in even looking for a space on site. So ridiculously early that we were sitting in the waiting room at 2.40pm. There were several other ladies who I recognised from my operation day but only one who acknowledge me. To be fair the others looked petrified and a smiley me probably didn't help their nerves.
Since my last appointment at this clinic when I saw the registrar and was given my operation date I haven't worried about the results, I don't know why but the cancer nurse was so reassuring and said that as the bastard cancer was so small and that as they hadn't found anything under my arm during the ultrasound it would be a matter of removing the bastard and some lymph nodes and then radio therapy and then Tamoxifen for 5 years. I believed her.
One by one the other ladies were called in ............... the clock ticked on and at 3.45pm I was still waiting. Then a nurse came out and announced that Mr Ferguson had been called to theatre and so the clinic which was running 30 minutes late and now would be running 45 minutes to an hour late.
Errr no ... by my reckoning it was already running 45 minutes late so with another 45 minutes we were looking at me being called at 4.30pm.
The carpark ticket was only until 5.10pm so we would be cutting it a bit fine!
A bit of a dilemma then ..... in the end OH asked at reception if they had any idea what time I might be called. Someone went and enquired and apparently I was next on the list but they had no idea when I'd get called. The clock ticked on.
At 4.30pm I told OH he had better go and get another carpark ticket but he refused saying that he needed to be with me for the results.
At 4.40pm we had the same discussion.
At 4.45pm I was called into a consulting room and had to put on a rather fetching poncho affair which opened at the front and wait........
Then the fire alarm went off ............. a nurse came in and said it was ok and that we didn't have to evacuate. Thank god for that!!
The clock ticked on.
At 4.55 we had the discussion again about the carpark by which time it was 'you need to go and get a fucking ticket' and OH refusing saying he would pay the fine.
And then a young Doctor came in to ask a few question, and look at my operation site ........... he really was YTS ...... after a few minutes he removed my dressings, felt my boob and then said that Mr Ferguson would be along soon.....
At 5pm the man himself arrived checked my boob and underarm out and then let me get dressed again.
He then got to the point, the bastard cancer had actually been larger than they thought at 7mm but was succesfully removed along with some healthy tissue and then said the magic words 'its good news it hasn't spread'
Did he just say it hasn't spread? ............... I actually sat there and stared at him trying to take it in, I don't know why because its what I had thought I was going to be told.
Yes the bastard has gone!!!
After he explained the next step would be to see the oncologist to discuss radio therapy and that I would also have to take tamoxifen for the next 5-10 years it was 5.10pm and the carpark ticket had just run out............................
It was obviously our lucky day ...... getting back to the carpark at 5.30pm we hadn't got a ticket! the parking attendant must have knocked off early!!
Trying to get out of Exeter was a nightmare and we ended up going around Cowick bridges a full 360 degrees because some bastard forced OH out of his lane and we didn't realise the road split! By this time I was so fed up and had a tantrum and cursed and swore at all and sundry ..... yes I know I should have been on top of the world but I hate traffic jams and I just wanted to go home.
So 3pm it was.
As usual we got to Exeter ridiculously early and parked in the carpark 15 minutes walk from RD&E as there was no point in even looking for a space on site. So ridiculously early that we were sitting in the waiting room at 2.40pm. There were several other ladies who I recognised from my operation day but only one who acknowledge me. To be fair the others looked petrified and a smiley me probably didn't help their nerves.
Since my last appointment at this clinic when I saw the registrar and was given my operation date I haven't worried about the results, I don't know why but the cancer nurse was so reassuring and said that as the bastard cancer was so small and that as they hadn't found anything under my arm during the ultrasound it would be a matter of removing the bastard and some lymph nodes and then radio therapy and then Tamoxifen for 5 years. I believed her.
One by one the other ladies were called in ............... the clock ticked on and at 3.45pm I was still waiting. Then a nurse came out and announced that Mr Ferguson had been called to theatre and so the clinic which was running 30 minutes late and now would be running 45 minutes to an hour late.
Errr no ... by my reckoning it was already running 45 minutes late so with another 45 minutes we were looking at me being called at 4.30pm.
The carpark ticket was only until 5.10pm so we would be cutting it a bit fine!
A bit of a dilemma then ..... in the end OH asked at reception if they had any idea what time I might be called. Someone went and enquired and apparently I was next on the list but they had no idea when I'd get called. The clock ticked on.
At 4.30pm I told OH he had better go and get another carpark ticket but he refused saying that he needed to be with me for the results.
At 4.40pm we had the same discussion.
At 4.45pm I was called into a consulting room and had to put on a rather fetching poncho affair which opened at the front and wait........
Then the fire alarm went off ............. a nurse came in and said it was ok and that we didn't have to evacuate. Thank god for that!!
The clock ticked on.
At 4.55 we had the discussion again about the carpark by which time it was 'you need to go and get a fucking ticket' and OH refusing saying he would pay the fine.
And then a young Doctor came in to ask a few question, and look at my operation site ........... he really was YTS ...... after a few minutes he removed my dressings, felt my boob and then said that Mr Ferguson would be along soon.....
At 5pm the man himself arrived checked my boob and underarm out and then let me get dressed again.
He then got to the point, the bastard cancer had actually been larger than they thought at 7mm but was succesfully removed along with some healthy tissue and then said the magic words 'its good news it hasn't spread'
Did he just say it hasn't spread? ............... I actually sat there and stared at him trying to take it in, I don't know why because its what I had thought I was going to be told.
Yes the bastard has gone!!!
After he explained the next step would be to see the oncologist to discuss radio therapy and that I would also have to take tamoxifen for the next 5-10 years it was 5.10pm and the carpark ticket had just run out............................
It was obviously our lucky day ...... getting back to the carpark at 5.30pm we hadn't got a ticket! the parking attendant must have knocked off early!!
Trying to get out of Exeter was a nightmare and we ended up going around Cowick bridges a full 360 degrees because some bastard forced OH out of his lane and we didn't realise the road split! By this time I was so fed up and had a tantrum and cursed and swore at all and sundry ..... yes I know I should have been on top of the world but I hate traffic jams and I just wanted to go home.
Tuesday, 30 April 2013
My week
Soooooooooooo a week has past since my last post ...... not alot has happened but here's a summary.
Yes I took all the nagging on board and accepted that I was a 'silly sod', 'prat' 'stupid' etc etc and took it easy.
As promised I took a back seat during cheesemaking on Wednesday, staying in bed whilst OH cleaned, washed and sterilised everything before swanning downstairs to add culture and rennet (so we didn't end up with anymore fuckwit cheese!) I did a bit of stirring when required and some of the washing up. Despite making less cheese than normal and not doing much to help I was pretty tired at the end of it.
On Thursday one of my lovely friends came over for lunch as well as bearing gifts, and apart from preparing a few cheeses for OH to take to the weekend markets I had a lovely relaxing day.
I kept away from the markets on Friday and Saturday but did venture out to Waitrose but (before you all shout) I asked for someone to pack the shopping into the car so I didn't have to lift anything! That little trip did tire me out so I didn't do much else.
As instructed on Saturday I stayed in bed but was then rudely awakened at 8.20 by OH phoning ...... when I phoned him back to complain he said I should have ignored it ........... for goodness sake the man's mad!!!
Sunday was a nice lazy day with the papers, a drink down the pub and bumping into some old friends and a delicious lunch cooked by OH. The only dampner was having a big bust up with my mother on the phone but it was going to happen sooner or later so at least its now happened.... Onwards and upwards!!!
Now this is the bit where you're all going to shout and throw things but ............ I went milk recording yesterday afternoon and this morning! There........ I've said it, I went to work! In my defence I did phone the farmer and say that I thought the stretching would be too much for me and that perhaps we could reschedule but his wife offered to do the stretching bits which meant that I didn't have to do anything physical. I'm glad I did it ... it was good to get out and I felt quite tired last night but I slept really well for the first time in 5 days!
We had a friend over for lunch today and OH cooked a lovely meal ..... I could get into this friends over for lunch thing. It used to be quite a regular occurence for us many years ago but we all seem to be so busy these days.
Although I would have loved to have done some gardening this afternoon I didn't but instead supervised OH who planted some broad beans and mangetout.
So as you can see I have done as I'm told this week!
Although its Wednesday tomorrow there's no cheesemaking as its results day so we're back off to RD&E!
Yes I took all the nagging on board and accepted that I was a 'silly sod', 'prat' 'stupid' etc etc and took it easy.
As promised I took a back seat during cheesemaking on Wednesday, staying in bed whilst OH cleaned, washed and sterilised everything before swanning downstairs to add culture and rennet (so we didn't end up with anymore fuckwit cheese!) I did a bit of stirring when required and some of the washing up. Despite making less cheese than normal and not doing much to help I was pretty tired at the end of it.
On Thursday one of my lovely friends came over for lunch as well as bearing gifts, and apart from preparing a few cheeses for OH to take to the weekend markets I had a lovely relaxing day.
I kept away from the markets on Friday and Saturday but did venture out to Waitrose but (before you all shout) I asked for someone to pack the shopping into the car so I didn't have to lift anything! That little trip did tire me out so I didn't do much else.
As instructed on Saturday I stayed in bed but was then rudely awakened at 8.20 by OH phoning ...... when I phoned him back to complain he said I should have ignored it ........... for goodness sake the man's mad!!!
Sunday was a nice lazy day with the papers, a drink down the pub and bumping into some old friends and a delicious lunch cooked by OH. The only dampner was having a big bust up with my mother on the phone but it was going to happen sooner or later so at least its now happened.... Onwards and upwards!!!
Now this is the bit where you're all going to shout and throw things but ............ I went milk recording yesterday afternoon and this morning! There........ I've said it, I went to work! In my defence I did phone the farmer and say that I thought the stretching would be too much for me and that perhaps we could reschedule but his wife offered to do the stretching bits which meant that I didn't have to do anything physical. I'm glad I did it ... it was good to get out and I felt quite tired last night but I slept really well for the first time in 5 days!
We had a friend over for lunch today and OH cooked a lovely meal ..... I could get into this friends over for lunch thing. It used to be quite a regular occurence for us many years ago but we all seem to be so busy these days.
Although I would have loved to have done some gardening this afternoon I didn't but instead supervised OH who planted some broad beans and mangetout.
So as you can see I have done as I'm told this week!
Although its Wednesday tomorrow there's no cheesemaking as its results day so we're back off to RD&E!
Tuesday, 23 April 2013
Post Op update
Today I am feeling crap ..........
Yes I know its my own fault and I can hear some of you saying 'told you so' but I had to find out for myself ..... its me remember!
I don't think the anti-imflammary painkillers have helped either. For someone who always has regular bowel movements, its a bit of a shock and uncomfortable to be constipated so suddenly. Not only that but developing a mouth full of ulcers and an infection in the ladies department (menswear is on the second floor ....ha ha ) hasn't helped. After reading the long list of side effects on the pills I decided I didn't want to develop anything else so stopped taking them. BUT (before you all yell at me) will start again if need be!
Hoorah .... in the early hours I had an uncomfortable call of nature and then I was back to normal this morning....... just need to get rid of the other things now!
I was forbidden by OH to do anything on Saturday which drove me nuts ..... having to tell him what to do and then watch him do it was torture. It was lovely to escape to the neighbours for a cup of tea!
On Sunday I felt fine when I got up apart from being constipated so went with OH to Totnes Good Food Market, the plan was that I'd sit down take it easy and relieve customers of their money ..... in reality I took on my usual role of serving customers. (standing the whole time) Although it wasn't very busy, it was very cold and draughty in our spot and so I got cold and tired.
Yesterday I sort of pottered about and was pleased to be able to wash my hair myself ...... no big deal you may think but we don't have mod cons here - its a case of leaning over the bath with a jug ... lifting a litre of water at a time and pouring over my head was easy ... no pain or discomfort. We popped out for a drink and snackette at lunchtime, followed by a bit more pottering and a friend popping in for a cup of tea!
This morning I felt fine when I got up and then within an hour went down hill. It was nice to have a friend drop by and have a chat and cup of tea but I've just slobbed around on the sofa all day since then.
Before you ask .... yes I'm doing my exercises but they take all of 2 minutes 4 times a day. Tomorrow I can add some more to the routine ..... yay!!!!
I have no pain in my boob or underarm, although if I touch the wound under my arm it feels a little sore. Earlier both op sites were itchy so I think that must be the healing process doing its stuff .... I hope so!
Tomorrow is cheesemaking day and we are just having half the usual amount of milk to see how we get on as I can't do any lifting and don't know how well I will be able to stir......... I will definately be doing as I'm told ........
I promise!
Yes I know its my own fault and I can hear some of you saying 'told you so' but I had to find out for myself ..... its me remember!
I don't think the anti-imflammary painkillers have helped either. For someone who always has regular bowel movements, its a bit of a shock and uncomfortable to be constipated so suddenly. Not only that but developing a mouth full of ulcers and an infection in the ladies department (menswear is on the second floor ....ha ha ) hasn't helped. After reading the long list of side effects on the pills I decided I didn't want to develop anything else so stopped taking them. BUT (before you all yell at me) will start again if need be!
Hoorah .... in the early hours I had an uncomfortable call of nature and then I was back to normal this morning....... just need to get rid of the other things now!
I was forbidden by OH to do anything on Saturday which drove me nuts ..... having to tell him what to do and then watch him do it was torture. It was lovely to escape to the neighbours for a cup of tea!
On Sunday I felt fine when I got up apart from being constipated so went with OH to Totnes Good Food Market, the plan was that I'd sit down take it easy and relieve customers of their money ..... in reality I took on my usual role of serving customers. (standing the whole time) Although it wasn't very busy, it was very cold and draughty in our spot and so I got cold and tired.
Yesterday I sort of pottered about and was pleased to be able to wash my hair myself ...... no big deal you may think but we don't have mod cons here - its a case of leaning over the bath with a jug ... lifting a litre of water at a time and pouring over my head was easy ... no pain or discomfort. We popped out for a drink and snackette at lunchtime, followed by a bit more pottering and a friend popping in for a cup of tea!
This morning I felt fine when I got up and then within an hour went down hill. It was nice to have a friend drop by and have a chat and cup of tea but I've just slobbed around on the sofa all day since then.
Before you ask .... yes I'm doing my exercises but they take all of 2 minutes 4 times a day. Tomorrow I can add some more to the routine ..... yay!!!!
I have no pain in my boob or underarm, although if I touch the wound under my arm it feels a little sore. Earlier both op sites were itchy so I think that must be the healing process doing its stuff .... I hope so!
Tomorrow is cheesemaking day and we are just having half the usual amount of milk to see how we get on as I can't do any lifting and don't know how well I will be able to stir......... I will definately be doing as I'm told ........
I promise!
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